dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
