Taylor Swift is so right about you.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
