Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
