Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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