I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
