Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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