I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
