discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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