walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
