why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
