i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
