Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
