I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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