I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
