OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize