Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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