Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
