i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize