I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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