Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
