I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize