two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
