Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
