i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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