im drinking this country out of the recession.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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