it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
