My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
