You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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