Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
