Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
did you just send me my own nude
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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