You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
