I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
