Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
