Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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