I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
