I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
