i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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