I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
