I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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