you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
