butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
