wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
