During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
