I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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