you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
