I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
