i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize