Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
