I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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