we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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