Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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