It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize