this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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