We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
