YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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