i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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