I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize