is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
