omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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