and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
