my being single is dangerous.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
