I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
