I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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