I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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