Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize