My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
