i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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