the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
